Am I Doing this Right? Five Common Questions about How EMDR Therapy Works

Already know about EMDR Therapy? Go to the common questions here.

What is EMDR Therapy?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR Therapy) is used to treat a wide range of experiences from anxiety, self-worth, fears, and trauma. While most people focus on the Reprocessing part of EMDR Therapy, it also includes making sure that you have the grounding skills and resources needed to feel supported. As a trauma therapist, I make sure that you have an understanding of your nervous system and practice grounding and coping strategies catered to you before we begin. What makes EMDR Therapy unique is that it has elements of talk-based therapy while focusing on the body and using eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation (across the body motions) such as tapping, sound, or movement. When you have a therapy session using the bilateral movement, it can be hard to understand even after describing it or even experiencing it. Because of that, there are times when I get the question... "Am I doing this right?"

How does EMDR Therapy work?

I like to explain EMDR in a different way than the typical brain based approach. I will invite you to think about being in an empty room with a closet. As you move around the room, you try to avoid objects on the floor seen and unseen. Those are trauma memories stuck in your short term memory that, when they pop up, feel like they are happening again right now. Now, you can move around the memories that you see and avoid them, but that takes energy and mental head space that could be used for other things. Trauma memories are challenging because they are often stored in emotions, images, and sensations that can be hard to describe in words, which is the reason therapies such as EMDR, Somatic (body based) Therapies, Expressive therapies, and Art therapy are important. With support of a trained therapist, EMDR Therapy takes those experiences and helps you to look at them and decrease the distress they create. We also work to shift the memory into long term storage with your other memories (the closet) that you have more control of choosing when to open it and what to take out. This also allows for more free space in the room to move.

Explore a more detailed explanation about EMDR (3 minute watch). Want more information? Click here.

#1 Top Question: Am I doing this right?

• The short answer is yes. Because the brain may move between images, emotions, thoughts, and sensations it can feel like your thoughts are jumping around. Don't worry, this is a part of the process.

• Our brains are wired to make connections, create patterns, and categorize things even if they do not fully make sense to our conscious mind. This is why a therapist will often encourage you to "go with that." We do this to decrease our influence on the direction your brain is taking. At times though, you will find a therapist may ask additional questions to help the process.

• Feeling anxious or nervous is normal especially since there are parts of EMDR such as the bilateral movements that will feel different than other forms of talk therapy.

#2 I can't I hold onto the memory...Am I doing something wrong?

Strange as it sounds, this may be an experience you have, and you are doing nothing wrong. The bilateral movements are used to decrease the strength/intensity of the images, emotions, and sensations related to the distressing memory while keeping a part of you in the present. This can make the memory or images appear foggy, unclear, or distant. The images are not lost but are moving from short term memory (feels like it is still happening in the present) to your long term memory.

#3 Why did my mind go blank?

While this may seem exactly like the second question and can feel frustrating or confusing, it may be for a different reason. A complete blank, a mental block, or feeling as if a wall went up happens for a number of reasons, such as:

• Not having an image for the memory. Instead, it may be stored in a different way such as emotions, sensations, or through one of the other senses (taste, touch, smell, or sound).

• A form of protection

  • A response rooted in survival such as dissociation

  • A wall or block created by a protective part of you that may need added attention to allow the process to continue effectively.

  • To avoid fears of being overwhelmed by the memory and what comes up from it.

    In all of these cases, the therapist will help you to navigate these protective layers as a part of the EMDR process

    
    

#4 What if I can't remember everything that happened?

That is okay. Oftentimes there is a misconception that a memory needs to be shared in detail from beginning to end. Traumatic memories and stressful events can often be stored in a fragmented way and not in the order it happened and are represented by images, emotions, and sensations rather than words. With this in mind, while telling the story can be empowering for some people, healing can still happen without having details of the story because the trauma is connected by the unspoken; emotions, body sensations, and images.

#5 Is it normal to experience these things in a session?

Below are some (but not all) experiences:

• Shifts in emotion

• Emotional release (at different intensities) such as crying

• Positive emotions or coping thoughts

• Shifts in thoughts or perspective about the event, yourself, and/or others

• Body responses like

  • Deep or shallow breathing

  • Tension in certain body parts

  • Body movements such as shaking or rocking

  • A change in body temperature

  • A feeling of heaviness or lightness in or around the body

• A sense of relief

• Emotions surrounding the memory feel less intense

• Increased feeling of presence

• Feeling sleepy or energized

• Feeling floaty or as if you are watching yourself or the memory like a movie

The Process continues after the session

This might look like:

• Shifts in emotions including feeling okay right after then feeling bad the next day(s) that often decrease in length of time and intensity as you continue to do the work

• Increased body and emotional awareness that allows you to notice comfortable or uncomfortable body sensations

• A physical impact such as tiredness, like you just did a hard workout, feeling lighter, or improved mood

• Other memories coming up. Part of this is because your memory network is more open.

• Noticing your dreams, more detailed dreams, or nightmares (temporary and changes and as you continue in the process)

• Can change your perspective on yourself, your life, and as a result change your relationships

• Other insights in between sessions

  
  

Is This Process Worth It?

It is worth it. EMDR can move memories along differently. Because it integrates thoughts, emotions, and the body experience smoothly in a way that other therapies do not, EMDR may feel challenging in a unique way because there is an intentional focus on feelings, sensations, and images. Instead of stepping away from the trauma, we intentionally explore to see yourself differently in the context of the trauma. Although avoidance is a way of coping, it uses up energy, creates added anxiety and distress, and does not address the trauma loops that continue in the background of the mind. The pain, confusion, anger, numbness of what happened still comes up and can feel more present even though it happened in the past. Trauma therapy offers a safe(r) space where you are not alone in the memories, have a therapist who lends you their nervous system to help to ground in session, while practicing coping skills specific to your needs.

Interested in learning more?

Let's connect and talk more about how therapy or EMDR Therapy specifically can help you work towards a life (re)imagined.

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*Creative Content medical disclaimer: Although I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker/Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker, the information and content provided on this website is for informational purposes only and does not constitute a client/therapist relationship. A client/therapist relationship is only formed after we have expressly entered into a written agreement with signed documentation and fee structure through Therapy with LnDukes, LLC. The information presented here is not a replacement or substitute for individual therapy or medical advice with your own mental health service provider who can address your specific needs for treatment.